Wednesday, September 09, 2009

09/09/09 - and 20 years

I'm not really blogging about the significance of today's date to numerologists as it has been done many times already, I'm sure. I'm really blogging about co-existing with a person for 20 years on this date. Today is my 20th anniversary and for the past 10 years of married life, we have pretty much co-existed in the same household and not much else. I still do all the grocery shopping and pretty much preparing the food or making sure that he gets fed when we eat out. I don't do his laundry (thank goodness). I run all the errands because he works third shift and is too lazy to do anything unless he absolutely positively has to because I have an important meeting to attend. We don't communicate much unless he feels I really need to know something. I, on the other hand, don't really see a need to tell him much because I know he doesn't listen to anything I have to say nor does he care.

So why not get a divorce? Hmmm - the thought has occurred to me but I financially couldn't make it on my own with kids and all. I don't make enough to support myself and the kids even if he were to pay child support and alimony. It is less costly this way and the kids still have their father around, not that they spend much time with him as it is since he works third shift (has worked second and first since moving to this area) and they are in school during the day and he usually sleeps until about noon or so and then goes outside to the creek (he's a sun worshipper and will take any sunny day over a cloudy one; those are the days he just sleeps and watches TV all the time until dinner and then sleeps until he leaves for work).

If my books ever become self-supporting or I get a sponsor (Jeopardy would be nice to have as a sponsor) and all, I would probably get the divorce, but at this late stage, it would be mostly paperwork than anything else. Finding a place to live and all would be easy and since Benjamin just started high school this year, no sense in doing anything until he completes high school. That way the kids are out of the house and the divorce would be pretty simple. I wouldn't ask for much - as long as my books are supporting me by then.

So now you know - I co-exist on the same plane in the same house (not even on the same floor as I live in the basement and he lives on the second floor) and have done so for half of my married life - See you all in the postings - E :)

1 comment:

Cas said...

Oh E, I have SO been there. I'm so sad for you. I did the same thing for many years. There are no easy answers. Only doing what you have to, to get by and to be there for your kids.

Love you kiddo!