Friday, November 02, 2007

How big is that "butt" at Ingles?

Driving home from my combined Sisters in Crime/writing group meeting tonight (a mistake that caused both groups to be booked in the same room on the same night but it was a fun mistake) the kids and I were on the only direct route to home. We came upon the stop light that is almost half way home and I saw something crawling a few cars ahead of me. Yes I saw legs and it looked like they were crawling - I didn't see bodies or the car. Turns out it was the police pushing a car out of the intersection to the gas station which wasn't too far - but all I saw was legs or something that looked like it was crawling. Okay - freaky - but explained when we saw the police cars on the other side of the road where no traffic was and then saw the men pushing the car out of the way. Oh wait, wasn't halloween last night? Yep, by my calendar yesterday was October 31 (well at the writing of this now at 12:10 a.m. on Friday November 2nd it was actually Wednesday). So whew - we were glad to see it was real people and not something crawling on the road way.

We drove on down and at the point where we cross over the toll road section there is a grocery story (Ingles is one of the south's local stores basically). Of course you expect to see the weekly special advertised on their boards outside but this one really got us to giggling and laughing and me hurting - almost felt heart attack like but I'm still coherent and able to drive so not too concerned.

The sign read as follows (these are the actual way the lines read -

whole pork boston
butt 98 Lb (double stacked wording at end says with card)

now I know that it's supposed to say 98 cents (cent sign)/lb but there was something missing - it just said - butt 98 Lb with card (this is the price with our special card that we use for the specials like this)

So when I drove by I read it out loud just like it is written - and we started laughing so hard. Benjamin started talking like mafia - Well Vinnie - we didn't need blocks to weigh her down, her butt was big enough - funny stuff - it's so much better to hear him. And then it just got too funny - how do you know how much the butt weighed - well we just push it on the truck scale to weigh it - lol - we had a blast (that's about when my shoulder to elbow started really hurting and is still bothersome and not sure if it is just a strain from being in the seatbelt and laughing so much or just not in the right position or what). We did finally calm down about the butt although the butt thing did creep up the rest of the way home.

So we turn down the road that leads to the short back road that goes to the other back road to the house and Hailie says she saw lightning - now it's a pretty clear sky and all. I told her it was probably a tower and she kept questioning - white? aren't they usually red? - so then she looks back and it's a bigger than tower light. The further we drive down the road the closer the light seems to get closer to us. So the kids start freaking out and then I see the light and it's pretty good sized to the right rear of the car. They beg me not to go home, to go into town and not stop at the house because even when we turned down our road they could still see the light and they were really freaked by now.

So I say okay, I'll drive on into town. Right before we get to the bridge that is right before our driveway - we come upon three vehicles with their flashers on - looked like something had been hit and was the reason they were there - so we went down to the driveway and turned around to make sure everyone was okay and to see if I needed to get some help. Apparently one of the cars avoided some deer but hit the fire hydrant (no one even knew there was one there) and then a couple of other folks showed up there - so I told them I'd come into town and get someone who dfinitely could help them since they'd been there a while.

Okay we haven't made it home yet - and they are still seeing the light but not as bright as before. We head to town and figure the fire department would be who would be able to help us - apparently we are a volunteer district because there is no one there, so we cut into the parking lot and go into the police station - guess what? The police station is basically closed down now because we no longer have a jail. So I picked up the phone to call dispatch and one of the sheriff's cars came from out back in the parking lot down the little road between the police station and the free clinic - so we stopped him and told him about the folks who had hit the fire hydrant and then the kids had to tell him about the light and he even played into their thoughts by telling them it was probably a UFO - so funny to freaky to weird night - I thought halloween was on the 31st of October not the 1st of November.

So when I get my states stories written with all my aliens and fun stuff - you will know it was inspired by All Freaky Day November 1, the official start of NaNo - happy writing - see you all in the postings - E :)

1 comment:

Rain-drop said...

hahahaha!! XD This a great story! I am laughing as I type this. Wow, what a thing to happen, how very appropriate for Halloween (though it was post-Halloween).

The description of the crawling thing that ended up being the police got my laughing, too. I think I would probably freak out, too, wondering what the heck it was, and the big light, too.

The butt thing!!! XD haha, that is the best part, I think. I can just hear a kid speaking in the Vinnie voice, hahaha. It's just great when they mess up on signs like that, sometimes. Great joke. It's great to find osmething like that to joke on an dthen be able to keep joking on it for a while. heehee.

:) Well, glad you guys had a fun night. Sorry it took so long getting home though.

The pang from arm to side thing worries me greatly, though. Maybe you should go in to the doc to get that checked up on? We don't want something bad happening to you. Take care of yourself, girl. It scares me a bit to hear that. I mean, don't freak out about it, but I think you wave it off a bit too casually, too.

Good luck writing. :)