Ya'll let me know what you think of this: Follow the adventures of two sisters who find themselves separated by time and place when they break a butterfly necklace. Learn the power of the butterfly that eventually reunites them. I sort of wrote it but had help rewriting it and editing (not my strong suit on my own stuff) - I think it is very befitting of the story.
Can't wait to say my story is published but more later. See you all in the postings - E :)
So if I'm understanding this right, you want opinions on the blurb, yeah?
ReplyDeleteI think it sounds great! Very intriguing. If I saw that the back of a book/short story description thing, I'd totally pick it up/click the link and read it. :D
Woohoo for publication!
Hmmmm...the first sentence bothers me. LOL yes, I know, I'm doing that nit-picking thing again! Leave out the butterfly necklace part - let it be intriguing, a mystery. You don't want them to start off KNOWING what happens. This way, the reader isn't expecting the events and is therefore surprised.
ReplyDeleteHow about: "Follow the adventures of two sisters separated by time and place. Learn the power of the butterfly that eventually reunites them."
I like it! It's like a good teaser pitch,(see I'm into movie jargon with ScriptFrenzy!). It catches the eye and I want to read more.
ReplyDeleteI have come to wish you a belated Happy Mother's Day, Madam Elysabeth. My mom was off with the Bell Witch, which I didn't think was fair, but no worries. Henri will be fine.
ReplyDeleteBonjour,
Henri de Montmorency
Sounds like an intriguing and original story. I agree with Janelle, but not for the same reasons. I think the first sentence is enough.
ReplyDeletePost the new blurb! Post the new blurb! We all want to see it.
ReplyDelete